Me and Matt @ Lake Toba, North Sumatera

See, don't just look

In love, we should see, not just look. Furthermore, it's important to find someone who sees you exactly as you are.  I truly see you, and from here, the view is perfect.

My question and my answer

“Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.” Dalai Lama XIV

I don’t often tell her, but I admire and respect her immensely, especially how she impacts the lives of all those around her. For a moment just watch her, and you’ll find yourself feeling alive. You’ll find that she can explain all things with a single glance. You’ll find that you don’t care about the unknown any longer. You’ll find that you truly did not know happiness until that very moment. For me, she is the question and the answer.

Lucky to have someone so unique

Somewhere across an island, an ocean, and another island, she is waiting. She is waiting for me and for it all to begin, despite the fact that she has me and it’s already begun. Happiness, sadness, and all possibilities in between those two words radiate from her soul, enigmatically almost all at the same time. Nevertheless, tell me there is someone stronger than her, and you will find me in disbelief. Tell me that you know of someone that cares and loves more than her, and I will deny it until the day I die. Simply put, she has no equal, and I am lucky to have found something so rare. That is why I promise to never let her go.   

Rindu

Ayo tunggangin angin dan pergi Atau pergilah ke pasar busuk dekat rumahmu Temukan magic carpet dan temui aku

Berkomitment

Seberapa siap kamu dengan sebuah komitment? 10 %, 20 %, 50 % atau 100 %?. 

Kata ibu saya ketika memutuskan untuk berkomitment dalam sebuah hubungan entah itu kerja, pacaran, menikah atau apa saja maka akan mengorbankan kesenangan-kesenagnan lainnya.

Tentu dalam hal ini saya akan membicarakan berkomitment dengan pacar. Karena kebetulan sekarang saya pacaran dengan Matt dan semangkin serius, tentu banyak sekali benturan-benturan yang saya terima. Tidak hanya karena saya dan Matt jauh berbeda tapi juga karena kadang-kadang saya masih belum terima kalau hubungan ini semangkin serius dan saya sudah gak sebebas kemaren-kemaren lagi, ada satu orang tambahan lagi yang saya mesti pikirin.

Contohnya dalam beberapa tahun terakhir, well mungkin hampir 15 tahun terakhir saya selalu memutuskan semua dalam hidup saya sendiri. Orang tua pasti ada campur tangan tapi biasanya tidak terlalu menggangu, ketika dengan opik juga tidak terlalu menggangu karena saya tidak pernah bisa berkompromi, hubungan-hubungan sebelumnya saya selalu mendominasi dan mereka hanya jadi follower, sekarang.......saya hanya mau equal. 

Bersama dengan Matt, semua harus jalan dengan kompromi. Contohnya ketika saya bilang seperti ini “ wahh......kita harus pergi ke kota A, trus kota B, trus kota C trus....mungkin dibulan ini kita bisa ke kota ini??” Atau “ teman aku ngajak ke Derawan di bulan may, boleh kan aku pergi ??”. biasanya Matt akan diam mungkin 5 detik, trus ngomong gini “ emmmm kalau ke Derawan may, bukannya kita ke bali?, berapa duit lagi harus keluar kalau harus ke Derawan?? “. Nah...biasanya saya akan sewot dan ngamuk-ngamuk gak jelas. Belakangan saya ngurut dada aja, sambil ikutan ngitung berapa duit akan keluar kalo saya tetap dengan rencana-rencana bombastis itu.

Dan iya banget, ketika semangkin serius sebuah hubungan, rasanya banyak sekali, emmm dalam kasus saya mungkin hanya banyak yang harus di korbankan. Seperti saya hanya diem aja gak ikutan ngobrol ketika seorang teman membahas pergi ke India ( saya sangat mau ke India), atau ketika air asia mengirimkan promo ke Sydney murah, saya hanya diam dan gak mau ngecek-ngecek harga tiket iseng yang kadang-kadang berbuah dengan tiket buruan.

Minggu lalu saya pergi ke Klaten dengan temen-temen perempuan besar saya, tentu ini jamak saya lakukan karena sudah biasaaaaaaaa banget. Seperti naik bis tengah malam, nunggu bisa malam-malam buta, keluyuran tengah malam di terminal bus. Sebenarnya saya cukup takut, tapi selama dengan Gank Kupang, perasaan saya biasa-biasa aja. Tapi.....untuk Matt ini luar biasa. Pertama dia khawatir pacarnya keluyuran malam-malam, kedua dia gak yakin saya bisa survive, ketiga dia tahu kualitas bis di Indo sehingga mungkin dianya kedut-kedut khawatir. Dan saya pasti gak akan mau berkompromi untuk membatalkan perjalanan ( weits...jangan coba-coba yaaaaaa.....), sehingga bentuk kompromi adalah, saya boleh tetap pergi tapi tetapi harus on semua Hp, dan saya sendiri akhirnya memutuskan pulang lebih awal, sehingga punya 1 hari full bersama dengan Matt ( di telp tentunya) dan seperti biasanya saya tetap juga pergi-pergi degnan anak-anak kupang. Haduhh!!

Berkomitment serius itu juga ternyata mesti memperhitungkan perasaan si pasangan. Kalau saya ngomongin liburan trus kesana kesini, sekarang saya hati-hati juga ngomong ke Matt. Hati-hati supaya gak ketahuan pergi hahaha ( bercanda ), maksutnya hati-hati karena jadwal saya dan Matt beda dan dia masih sekolah trus kita lagi perlu duit banyak banget di depan, sehingga saya harus tahan selera dan Matt tahan-tahan hati dengerin saya mewek nantinya karena gak pergi-pergi. Tapi untuk yang satu ini saya tahu Matt berusaha setengah mati membuat saya senang. Dan lagi kami punya 42 list rencana pergi-pergi, semua hanya nunggu waktu yang pas, pas ada duit maksutnyaJ.

Berkomitment itu juga artinya harus setia dengan 1 orang aja. Bangun tidur sampai melek dengan orang yang sama. Iya sih saya masih belon sampe bangun dan melek ketemu orang yang sama lagi, tapi karena sudah pacaran ( serius ) koq yah....rasanya sama aja. Seorang teman saya sampai ketawa ngakak gila waktu tahu saya pacaran ama bule “ gilaaaaa neng....cobaan lu ngerih betul, kalo ampe nikah trus pindah....semua bule dimana-mana hahahaha “. Wah iya juga sih, coba....aja bisa gak ya mata saya ketutup/blind untuk orang lain?? Atau bisa gak Matt juga berbuat yang sama?? Buta buat perempuan lain ?? jangan-jangan liat perempuan blonde, dia lupa juga ama saya yang rambutnya hitam??. Sejauh ini saya belum meragukan Matt, dan saya juga mau kasih reward untuk diri saya sendiri karena cukup ok ngelewatin cobaan-cobaan laki-laki ganteng kirim sms minta kenalan hahaha ( becanda....becanda.....).

Komitment itu juga siap berbagi duit di kocek!!!!. Yak....berapa duit kamu sayangku?? Hayoooo kasih aku J. Ada pepatah bilang duit suami duit istri, duit istri yahhh duit sendiri. Masihkah itu berlaku? Just wondering J.

Hotel Tugu Sri Lestari Blitar

Hotel Tugu Sri Lestari Blitar adalah cikal bakal dari Group Hotel Tugu yang berada di Bali, Malang dan juga Lombok.  Hotel yang Terletak di pusat kota Blitar dekat dengan alun-alun kota ini juga merupakan hotel boutique terbaik di Blitar. Dengan bangunan Belanda yang di dibangun sekitar tahun 1850an dan interior jawa membuat hotel ini terkesan sangat romantic dan juga etnik.

Pintu Masuk Hotel Tugu Blitar dipenuhi oleh tanaman merambat yang membuat suasana sangat sejuk, receptionist terletak di sebelah kanan jalan masuk akan menyambut kita dengan ramah  dengan lobby hotel yang kental suasana Jawa, restoran Colony terletak di seberang lobby  dengan 2 patung besar menghiasi ruang makan. Tidak terlalu jauh dari restoran Colony terdapat sebuah ruangan dengan peralatan music gamelan lengkap, dari seorang staff hotel saya mendapatkan informasi, kalau setiap hari jumat malam, para tamu bisa mendapatkan live music gamelan langsung.

Ada beberapa jenis kamar di hotel Tugu, 1 kamar sang fajar suite room yang di dedikasikan untuk presiden pertama Indonesia bapak Soekarno yang kebetulan juga lahir di kota Blitar, kamar berukuran sangat besar dengan foto sang mantan presiden dan furniture dari kayu khas jawa, tempat tidur berukuran sangat besar, living room dengan sofa berwarna biru dan lemari kayu menghiasi ruangan ini. lalu 10 unit Tugu suite room dengan sebagian tempat tidur dengan kelambu berukuran besar dan sandal bakiak, 8 executive suite room, 12 deluxe room, 14 superior room dan 11 mungil room. Hampir keseluruhan ruangan memakai interior khas Jawa, dengan perabotan terbuat dari kayu. Di semua ruangan suite juga tersedia dvd player . lobby hotel yang sangat luas berhiaskan beberapa lukisan kuno dan foto-foto Presiden soekarno, sebuah meja kayu bulat besar menghiasi lobby hotel dengan lampu hias yang sangat cantik.

saya menghabiskan malam pergantian tahun 2012 di hotel tua ini. Blitar mungkin bukan kota besar dan tidak terlalu ramai untuk menghabiskan malam pergantian tahun, tapi banyak sekali kejutan yang tidak kalah ketika menghabiskan tahun baru di kota kelahiran presiden pertama Indonesia.

Sore jam 16.00-18.00 adalah tea time di Waroeng Tugu Blitar, para pengunjung bisa mendatangi satu ruangan terbuka dengan kursi-kursi kayu besar dan meja besar yang dihiasi pernak pernik khas jawa. Seorang staff hotel akan membagikan teh hangat dan jajanan pasar. Sore itu jajanan pasarnya adalah kue talam, kacang tanah rebus, tahu goreng dengan cabe rawit kecil menghiasi dan kue mutiara. 

The Colony Restaurant akan membawa kita semua ke dalam nostalgia khas jawa. Ada banyak pilihan menu makanan mulai dari traditional Jawa, Indonesia, cina hingga western. Di pagi hari saat sarapan, restoran Colony  tidak menggunakan konsep buffet makanan internasional, pagi itu kami di hidangkan pecal khas Blitar, kerupuk uli, tempe dan ayam goreng. Saya mencoba beberapa menu seperti sop buntut goreng, bebek goreng dan masih banyak lagi yang semuanya sangat enak. Jika anda ingin mencoba makan malam yang istimewa, bisa mencoba paket dinner di halaman candi penataran ketika sunset.

Dimalam hari, terutama hari sabtu di restoran Colony juga menyediakan live music, karena kebetulan saya berkunjung di malam tahun baru, hampir semua tamu menghabiskan malam di restaurant ini sambil menunggu kembang api di alun-alun kota. Sambil menunggu saya juga sempat mencicipi kopi hitam robusta hasil perkebunan kawi. Tepat pukul 12.00 malam semua tamu hotel keluar ke jalan raya dan menikmati keriuhan kembang api selama 1 jam. 

Perpaduan cantik arsitektur Belanda, furniture Jawa dan cina kuno membuat hotel ini bukan sekedar hotel tetapi juga Museum. Nikmati sebuah pengalaman menginap di sebuah hotel cantik yang lekat dengan kebudayaan Jawa. 

Hotel Tugu Blitar

Jl. Merdeka No 173

Blitar – jatim

0342 801766

Keep Up Communication

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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So, here I am, it’s late, and I find myself unable to sleep. The topic of long-distance relationships is circling through my head, and I feel compelled to spill a few words about what’s on my mind. The main word that is taping on the inner portion of my skull is communication, since those that find themselves in long-distance relationships require this skill among most others. The thing is, is that most of the time, communication can be relatively straightforward. For example, discussions about your daily lives, talk about when you are going to see each other again, and your plans for the future, will often make up the majority of talk time. The problem is that on some occasions, discussions can move away from the straightforward, and can turn into an awkward and challenging mess. This will arise for a number of reasons, such as a stressful day for one or both parties, an inappropriately placed comment, an uncomfortable topic, etc. Usually among non-long-distance relationships, these types of situations can be circumvented with comfort and space, and a few minutes apart may be all that is needed to rectify the situation. However, among long-distance relationships, these less straightforward situations can be one of the major causes of anger, discomfort, stress, and the like. What must be remembered is that these situations can be the same for both long-distance and non-long-distance relationships; however, for long-distance relationshipers, an immense amount of patience is required. The key is not to overreact (I am sorry that I sometimes do this, I promise that I am working on it!) and/or let the situation swell, but to keep a level head and remain calm. You must not lose sight of the fact that you both love each other and are completely committed to one another. Importantly, remember that tomorrow always brings another chance to do it right.  

I’ve never been perfect with relationships, and that goes double for the long-distance form. However, I’ve also never wanted a relationship to work out like I this relationship to work out. I know that some days I can be difficult, but I need you to know that am really trying to learn from my mistakes. Most importantly, I will never stop striving to be the best that I can for us and you. Unfortunately, this takes time, and I appreciate your patience with me. Never fear talking with me about anything, I promise that you will always have an understanding ear. Lastly, when you wake and read this, know that I am thinking about you, that I want nothing more than to give you a hug and a kiss, and that I want to start today as brilliant as we started yesterday.   

I'll tell you how it works...

We work because our love offers non-stop round-trip flights 24/7.

Shades of Grey

Noni, loves photography, and is also an amazing photographer! I on the other hand, love photography; however, am not quite as capable as she is at it. More specifically, I have an irritating tendency to see great photo opportunities, but for the most part I am unable to make the camera see what I see.  Hopefully, I will improve over time, and take a single photograph that I can be proud of.

While Noni knows that like photography, especially black and white photography, she doesn't know that I studied some photography for the art history minor that I received from Indiana University. It was there that I truly started to appreciate the shocking simplicity of black and white photography, and it's dramatic ability to to tell it like it is. Additionally, she does not know that I like to collect black and white photographs, especially those that touch me, and I suppose to put it mildly, make it all make sense.

As such, I would like to share with you some of the photos that I have admired over the years. I have tried to put these together in such a way that they tell a story about life, with a bit about my life tossed in. I didn't put these photos in any order, as it's always a different part of the story for someone else. I only ask that you try to make our own connections. Importantly, keep in mind that it's a black and white existence, we need to accept that, and try to live somewhere in between.

Remember, you're everywhere in there!

These three things...

I woke up this morning, and three things entered my head that I wanted and needed to tell you, but unfortunately I couldn't.  I know that you have already heard everything that I wished to say, but I also know that it's always nice to hear these things again, and believe me, it makes me feel better letting you know over and over and over. In fact, I would rather you feel over-loved, than for you to ever question my feelings for you. While distance is an unfortunate constant for us now, those three short sentences are the powerful forces that keep us united. I am hoping that you will be able to read this later today, and then tomorrow, and then the next day, and the day after that, and that you will never forget that I need you, I miss you, and I love you.

Ever Since Then

I'm calling this "Ever since then," but it is a combination of a photo that Noni took of me while we were in Blitar, and a poem ("Truth Be Told") that I wrote for her. I found a way to turn text to a photo, and decided to give it a shot with the two. I remember Noni saying that she liked this photo, and the poem is written about our first time meeting. So, I thought that the combination of the two were perfect.

Use this pass for one free (life long) bear hug

Given that Noni and I are usually apart for long stretches at a time, we are often missing one another. One of the major things that I miss is just having her near, and being able to hold her close. Call it what you may, cuddling, embracing, hugging, spooning, snuggling, etc., I miss all metamorphoses of the word. My plan was to make a short post, and get an image to go along with it. Upon searching the internet, I found that there is in fact a book and tons of pretty funny images dedicated to the subject of spooning. So, as a way of telling Noni that I miss having her close to me, I now share my spooning photo montage. 

December 31_2011: Blitar Photoblog

 

December 31_2011: New Year’s Eve in Blitar, Jawa

We were supposed to get up early-early to head to the bus station, but I sort of lazyishly woke up, so we were unable to get out the door until maybe around 8:00 AM. We arrive at the bus station all fired up to pick up a bus and head out immediately; however, every single individual living in Surabaya has decided to travel somewhere that day. Enter a minimal amount of stress. We wait and wait and wait, only to find out that the ‘nicer’ buses with AC are all full for the day. Enter more stress. We then try the ‘less nice’ buses without AC, but for some reason or another, we were off of that bus pretty quickly. Likely my fault. Anyway, I suggest that we try to get a taxi down to Blitar; however, Noni is not so fired up about the idea, as she thought that it would be too expensive. I at this point, am pretty determined to get to Blitar, as we already have hotel arrangements at Hotel Tugu Blitar. Noni interestingly has already commenced calling Hotel Majapahit in Surabaya to see if we could celebrate New Year’s Eve there for the night. I was a little frustrated that she had already begun to give up on traveling to Blitar, but that is neither here nor there. Patience is advantageous during any type of traveling, and life in general, so I went with that. I decide to bargain with a taxi driver, and in the end got us a taxi for what I thought was a pretty reasonable price (i.e., it was cheaper than some taxi rides that I have taken inside the city of Chicago, let alone outside of Chicago); however, Noni thought it was still expensive. We mount the taxi, and are finally on our way to Blitar. Crisis averted.  

The drive is pretty quick and we traverse some of the most beautiful countryside that I have ever seen in my life. In particular, there was lots of agriculture (especially beautifully managed rice fields) and small villages. We arrive at Hotel Tugu Blitar, and I am floored at how amazingly beautiful it is. The entrance drive is completely covered with small vines and showed us beautiful sneak peeks of the restaurant, sitting area, and hotel as we slowly entered it depths.

The room too is beautiful, with a large wooden door, and a nice inviting sitting area. The bed was hilariously too high, were I had to get a running start, just to get on top of it. Everywhere in the room is traditionalesque Javan furniture, which gives the room a warm majestic feel.

Heavy rains come, and after they pass, we head to Candi Panataran. Candi Panataran is a Hindu temple, and actually a part of the largest temple complex in East Java. It is thought that the complex was built under the kingdom of Kadiri and was still in use by the Majapahit kingdom. We are able to get two becaks to drive us out. I am never going to forget how ridiculous I looked in a red hockey helmet that one of the becak drivers had as an extra helmet. The candi is beautiful, and sort of appears in the area out of nowhere. It’s presence suggests importance, but it’s lonely placement implies a private importance that I would only romanticize if I wrote any further. Similar to that which is present at Angkor Wat in Cambodia, the beauty of the candi and surrounding areas is amazing. The reliefs are beautifully crafted, with the main temple placed central to everything, and a large elevated flat viewpoint directly behind this main temple.  

We travel back to the hotel, where we walk a bit around the grounds. Just at the hotel, the numbers of photographs that I took was ridiculous. It really is a stunning hotel to visit. We relax later in the afternoon with a traditional Javan snack and some tea. And then, we are back to the hotel room for some relaxation and such before we head out for the night.

After an amazing dinner (note that all of the food at this hotel was delicious), we travel along the street to observe the festivities and wait for the fireworks. For such a small town, I was shocked at the number of people that had come to see the festivities, which included small vendors, an exhibition, and also a concert. We grabbed a decent place to view the fireworks, which we the longest series of fireworks that I have ever been a part of. It was 1 straight full hour of fireworks; with dozens of what Noni and I thought were finales. Once the fireworks were over, the crowd started to disperse, and Noni and I retired back to our hotel.  

The rest of the night, was, well, ours. The atmosphere of Blitar, the hotel, the day/evening spent with Noni, and the New Year’s festivities combined for a priceless holiday. It was definitely a good place to start the year anew with Noni. I couldn’t help but thinking that when we left, we had also started a new chapter in our life together.  

Reminiscing - A Strole Down Memory Lane

Noni and I are usually not lacking on things to talk about during our daily telephone conversations. One topic, however, has not really appeared extensively in our discussions, and that is our past as children. Nevertheless, that is where we found ourselves a few days ago, laughing and talking about the past.

I loved hearing about Noni’s childhood, and could tell that she enjoyed remembering all those past events that had transpired. I pictured her sitting in her room smiling, being transported back to a time when everything was just simpler. I could also tell that she had a wonderful childhood, filled with people and places that held her close, comforting and supporting her along her way to becoming the beautiful woman that she is today. 

I too found myself remembering those times when I did not worry about what the future held, but was only happy to be living that moment. I too remembered people, places, and events that have been long removed from my daily life, but have figured prominently in my development.

I’ve decided that I need more reminiscing in my life. Just as those moments filled me with happiness when I lived them, they again entered my life to fill me with happiness upon remembering them. We must all remember that what we have stored away in our distant memories is a powerful mechanism, capable of making us feel the warmth of those things, people, and places from our past. Just as I and Noni have been blessed to have such wonderful people in our past and present lives, I yearn to be a remembered presence in the lives of those that I love and will come to love in the future. Lastly, Noni thank you for opening up your past to me and sharing with me all that you hold dear to you.