We don't have it all figured out, and that's okay

“To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life.” -Elizabeth Gilbert.

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Someone really close to me quoted someone really close to them by saying “Only 10% of a marriage is made up of love. The remaining 90% is everything else that the world throws at you.” Now, I don’t know about the exact proportions of those two numbers, but the point remains that the world adds a lot of unanticipated, unneeded, and unwanted obstacles. That’s a hell of a lot of words with the prefix “un-,” far too many to always be completely happy. 

The lesson to be learned from this very astute saying is that preparations (e.g., discussions) must be made so that you can later handle as many of those “un-word“ situations as you can possibly think of. I find that it’s best to think of all the ‘worst possible situations,’ as this method prepares you greatest for what’s to come by removing all of that sweet tingly love that tends to clutter up our thoughts of the future. Remember however, that this is ‘only’ an exercise between you and your partner, and that not all of these ‘worst possible situations’ will actually come to fruition (hopefully!). It’s not a time to argue, it’s a time to think outside the box, and a time to find the solutions to your problems before your problems find you. 

Don’t worry if you don’t have all of the solutions to all of your potential future problems, the imperative thing is that you have thought about them, are willing to face situations (and not run away from them), and are working together to find the answers. If this exercise is done without fear of your future, you might even be able to shift those above-quoted percentages to something more manageable.

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Sayang, aku sudah tahu aku belum punya solusi untuk semua hal yang mana akan mungkin ganggu kita waktu didepan. Tapi, aku sangat ingin sekali coba dapat solusi untuk semua bersama dengan kamu.